


UPDATES ON STORIES AND LIFE

by Fandomgirl445



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2019-09-12 09:00:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16870000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomgirl445/pseuds/Fandomgirl445
Summary: This is basically a journal about whats going on and if updates are being slow SORRY





	1. Chapter 1

Ok...so...Updates on stories?? All my stories...

Yeah

My ass as of rn is currently in College, my work load has picked up big time and I barely have time to write at the moment. BUT DO NOT WORRY.

By January I should be back on schedual but rn Its cramming time so please bare with me!? OK? OK thank youu!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's going on with me this year

So....

It's January.....

And I've yet to post anything.....

**_Lets talk about that._ **

So. As of January 3rd I had a small.....breakdown? I guess. I dunno, but for a long long time I've been very numb and just overall sad. Getting out of bed was a struggle, smiling felt like something I  **had** to do I'd be numb one minute and close to tears the next. On top of that, for years now I've been getting very little sleep. Going to sleep is very hard for me, I've tried a lot of things from incense, meditation, exercising before going to bed, hot showers etc. And the last thing is that I panic around people, or talking around people or just being in a place with more than ten people. Not to mention worrying about everything that I do will make them think I'm a horrible person. I.E I accidently tripped over a dog and instead of thinking 'They know that's an accident' I immedatly think 'OH god they think I hate animals now, they're going to tell everyone etc' It's something I've always done since I was little, didn't know why just did. 

It all came to a head over a tiny little thing about my UCAS app being sent back to me ((UCAS is the UK University application kinda thing) And being told that I needed to re-do it in two days....I snapped. Broke down in tears, cried for an hour and I didn't understand why??

Like I  _ **knew**_ it wasn't that big of a deal.

But I was still crying.

My gran found me in my room whilst I'm having this mental break down and I tell her everything. Everything I'm feeling. From the numbness, lack of motivation to even wondering what use I have being around them when all I do is go to college or work. So....I went to the doctors..

Now...here's the thing to understand. I've been going to the same doctor for years now with worries that I had depression, but she constantly told me it was stress. This time, I saw a new doctor and he sat down with me and we just talked. I wasn't used to this, I was use to saying a few things and then my doctor just interrupting me and saying it was stress. So when he sat there and listened to me tell him about everything well....I had a panic attack. He helped me through it and when that was over he told me what he thinks is going on.

I have Depression and Sever Anxiety with social anxiety tendency's

I was shocked, scared a little unsure of what to do. He sat there and talked to me about how he came to the conclusion with his diagnoses.

I hadn't noticed I'd been continuously rubbing my arm when talking and when I started talking about my feelings my brain panicked thinking he was going to respond in a negative way.

He then asked what I wanted from this visit, how he could help me. All I could say was that I didn't want to be numb anymore. So he gave me options. I'm currently trying some anti-Depressants and some sleeping pills, along with that in a few weeks time I'll be going to a therapist to talk about whats going on.

I'm saying this now because of a few things.

  1. I don't know when the next update will be. I don't feel confidant in writing with a sleep deprived brain and I don't want to give you garbage that's half assed.

  2. I'm  **not** Suicidal or self harming so don't worry about that.
  3. I want to say thank you to everyone who's found my page and read my stories so far. I really appreciate you all and your comments really help me so Thank you.
  4. If you want to talk about ANY of this, whether it's about your self or just asking about me. Feel free too, I'm an open book.



So until the next update guys.....I'll see you round.

 


	3. Discord Rp server

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Litreally I have a discord, feel free to join for chat or rp XD and Life update.

Sup people is me. Fandom Girl, or as people might know me Shannon. I figured I'd give ya a update on what's going on and a special invite

**Life Update**

As of September this year I will be moving into student dorms to move on from college into University to study either Biological sciences or Animal management level 5. Either way, during that month I will not be updating so keep in mind  **September 2019** will not have a story. Because of that, I will do my best to start posting more stories each month leading up to it.

 

Now, in my last update I had a brief chat about my anxiety and depression episodes but didn't go into detail as well...I don't know how. Since that update I've been put on a new pill as the one I was originally taking wasn't doing much for me and my sleeping patterns had worsened. so, went back and my new doc wasn't in so I was a new one who was like 'oh you might have insomnia, try these pills' so I'm on a new antidepressant that literally knocks me out at night.  The Downside? I'm so exhausted during the day I'm literally falling asleep outta know where, but it's not gonna stop me! I'll be starting therapy in a months time soon.

 

Stories? Well I'm in the middle of updating Back to Basics so you should have it by at least Tuesday. xD

 

**INVITATION**

So, I'm a little shit for Role playing with people as I feel that it helps getting my creative juices flowing. I am on Discord and have set up a server for you guys to join if you want - Those who don't know what discord is, it's basically a better version of skype and is free. - You can join even if you don't rp as I'm always up for a chat, and people on the server might get sneak previews of how stories are going! - obviously there are a few rules such as, if you're under 18 you can't enter certain chat area's and no non-con on people. Other than that, there aren't any rules (but it might change over time.)

 

https://discord.gg/4Ffs3G

 


	4. Q/A

I'm taking


	5. Pets and Possible story update soon????

Sooo I am alive....just working on last minute stuff for college. Just letting you guys know.

The Q and A answers for those who asked -

I'm doing a lot better now. Really. Medication is just a bitch to control :P

 

So Stories? Well I've got halfway through writing Superfamily and I've started fiddling with chapter two of the Omega Tony story. Prank by Loki is currently waiting for some inspiration because by god it's been lacking. but other than that I've been fiddling with an OG story idea for a while that I wont tell you about juusttt yet XD

 

Any ways. Thought you guys would like to meet my pets -

Spirit

A 16 year old black rescue who's the literally meaning of Diva and attention whore.

Nick names - Spear, Spiri, Spearbaby.

Samson

A 7 year old torti boy who doesn't understand that no, my shoulders are not perches, please remove your self. Nicknames - Sammy, SamSON, Boy and Assanine.

Pebbles

4 year old attention seeker who will cry the door down until I let her in and then immedatly want out of my bedroom. Nicknames - Pebs, Pebablo, Peka-fuck (Don't ask) and finally Attention Seaking Whore Cat (ASWC). Bruce - My little gecko boy. He's a relaxed little dude that just...doesn't understand that crickets are food.

Story 1 - Spirit.

We've had Spirit from when she was about 12 months old (I was around 4/5 years at the time) , She's a full black cat with a tiny little splodge of white on her neck. We her from a local rescue who found her in a hoarders home and she is technically my grans but I live with her so she's our cat :P . My favourite story about her is when I was about 12/13. It was early morning and I had gotten up to get ready for primary school (UK - so for American's I guess it's like elementary or middle school???)) Any ways, me and my gran where bustling around to get ready for the day when we hear this loud, howling cry and then sqawks. yeah. Bird cries/screams/the scream music of 2006 - anyways me and gran run into the front room and no joke, this bitch is trying to drag in a living seagull through the front room window and acting like this was totally normal!!! We did manage to remove said seagull away from spirit and checked it over (I nick named it 'Gully' I know. Origanal.) Any waves, seagull was fine, cat was fine, it's over. Until she makes a habit of ONLY BRINGING BACK LIVE ANIMALS!!

Story 2 -Samson

We've had this bastard from a young kitten, maybe just under 8 months another rescue. Samson is just...He doesn't understand that when your busy, you can't pet him. That's not how it works. If your lap is free or your not doing any thing, he comes running over to you and sits on your or attempts to get your attention. Doing things like walking over all your stuff with dirty feet (like LEAVE FOOT PRINTS KINDA DIRTY) or my personal favourite, he pulls your laptop chargers out from your laptop when your not looking, so when your laptop dies you realise - that bitch pulled it out. He also really, really, really enjoys resting on your chest and it's cute until you remember he's fat and the need to breath out ways the need for cat cuddles.

Story 3 - Pebbles

Pebbles My baby bean, my sweet innocent baby girl. (I wonder if you can guess my favourite here?). Anyways, we got Pebbles when she was around 2-3 weeks of age (I know stupidly early but lemme explain.) We fostered for a while when I first started college, and she came in with a few other kittens (I don't know what happened to the mother, we just got the kittens) so we looked after them. The moment his little multi coloured ball of annoyance started walking and being able to see, she was following me everywhere. AND I mean EVERYWHERE. I didn't spend a lot of time with the kittens because I just knew - I knew I'd want one or all of them because I'm an animal lover. I'd only handled this kitten once or twice and now I had a permanent, multi-coloured, part Siamese looking kitten going everywhere with me. My mum was saying we'd keep one but it would be *her* cat. Yeah...no. Mum loved Pebbles, named her and everything but Pebbles refused (And still refuses) To go near anyone that wasn't me. It got to the point that when my mum moved out with her fiance she left her with me because she couldn't take her. Now...onto the horrors of this dinkle berg. Pebbles. Likes to release live mice into the house. She will go out, catch said mouse and just plop Right onto the floor and then cry at whoever is in the room to catch it whilst she goes out again. She *Knows* When I'm finally going to sleep and will purposely place her self right onto my pillow so I have to lay on an angle or move her. I would move her if it didn't mean for an hour straight she'd constantly come over, attempt to push my head to a different area and keep doing so until she was fully on the pillow or she'd just play 'I can eat your toes.'

Story 4 - Bruce.

So..Bruce is a leopard gecko, he's around one year old and is known as a super hypo (Which means he's more yellow and less spotty than other geckos) but I got him from what I thought was a reliable breeder - before him was Pumpkin (Also a super hypo) But she passed away due to a birth defect that made her intestine too small to pass regular crickets and she unfortantly passed away 3 weeks after I got her. So what do I do? Go straight back to the breeder to get another one (After a 2 week grieving period). Before you all yell at me, I thought maybe it was a fluke with Pumpkin. Like some times, an animal can start to grow correctly but over time a defect makes itself known and there isn't much the breeder or owner can do. Guy was nice enough, gave me Bruce for free but I won't be using him again as my aunt also brought two separate bearded dragons (One after the over) who both died within a week being in her care. I didn't know this until she showed me them and I realised 'Oh hey, they're a bit small to be selling yet' so I kinda avoid him now.

 

Any ways!! Bruce my sweet, sweet dipshit does not understand that his tweezers or my fingers are not food. He's never purposely bit me but his aims as good as a toddlers and he misses a lot. So I deal with it here and there, anyways one time I was trying to feed this bugger and as I put my head down to make sure I can spot a cricket, I feel this lump land on my chest. This fucking bitch jumped from his viv, onto my chest and was making a speedy move towards the entire cricket pot. I had to slam the lid shut and pull him off, called in my cousin to hold him and whilst I'm checking over his feet (To make sure he's not damaged the legs or anything.) He decides it's poop time. All over my cousins shirt.

Yep. that's Bruce for you.

 

Anyways, if you guys have any stories about your pets or want to see a pic of my pets let me know and I'll add them in!!


	6. *awkward wave*

Hey. Hey guys

Its Shannon

guess what

....

I stopped going to therapy.

Lets talk about it.

******

So, for those who forgot. Hi, I'm Shannon or Fandomgirl445 (or on wattpad Nuggets445) and I have Depression, Servier aniexty and social aniexty. I'm on meds, and was origanlly going to councling - until last Tuesday. Lemme explain.

 

I'd been to this councler once (shush I know, bad me.) and that was in March. I had orgianlly planned on going more often, but I guess after having to cancel two appointments for both my math exam and my course exam that lead to me being pushed back all the way to July. So Tuesday. Yeah. That shit, not fun. First appoint, totally chill and a very nice lady who talked a lot with me about my problems - second visit? 'Oh, it's been a while. Thought you weren't coming back' That's chill, I'm over thinking that it sounds sarcastic right? any ways.

The meeting goes on, I talk about the problems I've been facing, some of these including -

Feeling anxiouse about nothing whilst sitting in the front room

Suddenly bursting into tears at random times

Having literal panic attacks when getting on a bus

as a few examples. Well, she kept interrupting me, and asking why I was even at therapy/councling and when I tried to explain my doctor thought it would be good for me to talk to someone outside of the family, she would scoff - say a lot of people have those problems and that I just need to get over it.

Yes. Let me just..get over the feelings of numbess, despair and absolute terror because it's easy right?

Well she just kept repeating the same things and like....bringing up she was writing a book on aniexty because thinks it would help if I read it? And then suggests I quit my job (Dog walking/pet sitter) because its clearly too stressful - It's not I literally get dog and cat cuddles almost every other day. - and then says maybe I should not go onto uni next year - So I was having....fun? I made up an excuse and left because I just...I didn't want another meeting with some one who wasn't listening to me and was basically telling me to stop doing what was bringing the little bits of joy into my life and make my self more miserable. So...I won't be going back to her again.

I will however be looking for someone else to talk to so don't worry.

*******

Moving away from Sad.Shannon.Inc.

guess who got onto her Animal Behaviour course? This hoe, so yeppity yep yep. Moving a whole 4 hours away from my home town and into an area I somewhat know that's like a 20 minute train ride from close friends so Yesss

I'm also getting a dog

that my mum may look after if I cant get a pet friendly place

So PUPPY

 

For those who follow my Watt-pad. I had a vote there recently for possible stories as a way to celebrate getting up to 700 ~~stalkers~~ followers and that means - you guys are getting two new stories due to a vote XD I hope you enjoy that


	7. Chapter 7

Sooo....

......

......

Guess who turned 20 on the 21st

and then had her mums wedding on the 27th

and is currently house hunting/planning for uni next year

it's me. like legit me, who'd you think It was? my baby sister?

SO yeah, as of the 21st of July I'm now 20 and sweet jesus am I adulating - look at this, I got a house hunt to do, finish my application for student loans get into debt - drink a bit with some serious sorrow mixed into it and then figure out if new house allows pets because i'm not leaving my gecko or my cat pebs without at least sneaking one of them in D:

 

but in all seriousness guys - I'm moving to a whole new town, starting at a new uni and although i'll be closer to my friends i'll be far from my family. I'm rushed off my feet so updates - yeah. They're gonna be slow. The stories most likely to get an update? Probably my text group ones for now.

Sorry if I up-set you like that - ALSO I AM SEEING YOUR COMMENTS I JUST SUCK AT RESPONDING -

 

I.E - I see, I click and write out response - get distracted by the new batman Hush movie (Which holy shit I love DC Animated but I love Marvel too so help) and then kinda forget to press the comment button XD I will try to respond promise!


End file.
